Now that is one hell of a way to start a conversation don't you think? When my sons were younger I finally agreed to take in pets. The first two pets they got were two kittens. Well, it started as one and somehow, a week later, there was another. Velcro and Sam.
Once I bought my first home and we were settled, I knew that maybe it was time to start looking for a dog. As luck would have it, I was dropping the boys off at the daycare center and there was this cute little homeless puppy. I knew if I didn't rescue it, it would end up at the shelter. I took it home. We named her Annie. Annie was a very, very bad decision. (One of many).
After awhile, once we realized that Annie should really be taking high doses of medication, we found out that she enjoyed terrorizing Velcro and Sam. She would chase them all through the house. Up and down the hallways, down the basement, into the bedrooms, wherever they would run, she would run. It was torture not only for the cats, but for us humans.
One evening after getting home from work, I started to put something together for the boys for dinner. As I was standing in the hallway, rummaging through my cupboard, I heard the usually sounds of cat and dog running. Tonight it was Sam's turn to be the one that Annie had in her sights. What I didn't see, at least at first, was where Sam was headed.
As I continued to rummage through my cupboard, out of the corner of my eye, I see Sam land, where else, on top of my gas stove. Unfortunately, when he landed, his paw passed by the handle of the gas pilot switch for the burner that he happened to be sitting on. As my head turned I heard the "click, click, click" of my gas burner. It was as if time stood still.....me looking at Sam, Sam looking at me, neither of us knowing what to do, both frozen with the knowing of what was about to happen. Before I had time to come to my senses POOF! The gas burner goes on, the flame goes up, and Sam is immediately caught in a small flame. You had to wonder, did he have to make a decision at that moment-"Do I burn to death, or face that stupid dog and jump off this thing".
When the flame went up his eyes got HUGE (he is still staring at me at this point) realizes that he is now on fire and, as fast as I have seen anyone or anything move, bolted for the basement. You know, by this time, I have begun to scream "the cat is on fire, OMG the cat is on fire"!
As he ran past me, all I could smell was burning hair and all I could see was smoke. I will say that I was in shock for a second or two. I just stood there.
It took a minute, but I did pull it together. I ran downstairs to find Sam licking his belly. Believe it or not, he had no damage. It did take a day or two to get the smell of the house.
Since I am always thrilled by a great story to tell, I couldn't wait to make my first phone call. And how did that conversation start? "Hey, guess what? My p$#%sy just caught on fire!" I told that story for months and months. It was like a little gift from god.
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